The Black Mamba

Have you ever heard of a black mamba? I mean, besides the black lady that gets killed by Uma Thurman at the beginning of Kill Bill.
Yeah. Thaaaat black mamba. The [arguably] deadliest snake in the world?
Well, it’s plentiful on this farm.
I first heard this fact from little Christoph on my first day on the farm, but I didn’t pay much heed to it – it was from a five-year old, after all. But since that day, I’ve heard stories and warnings from several people on the farm.
Amanda told me that if I’m wandering around in the bush, to make lots of noise. Black mambas are elusive and shy and avoid confrontation whenever possible. The only time I’d run into problems is if I surprised or cornered them.
Helene’s daughter Ella told me the story of the day that a black mamba was found on the wall in their living room. It was several meters long and fast as can be, but the men on the compound managed to beat it to death.
Lance told me of the time that he shot a black mamba in their garden.
His sister told me that black mambas come out during rainy season, which is fast approaching. Always bring a torch with me when walking at night so that I can see where I’m walking.
OH MY GOD!!!!!
The internet says that, besides being one of the most poisonous snakes on earth, it is also the fastest snake. Great. Read on.
The black mamba can cause death in a human in as fast as 3 minutes or as long as one hour. This depends entirely on the size of the snake (and the human), the area it bites (the head and chest being the worst, obviously), and how recently the snake used its venom. Reassuring.
The only redeeming fact in all of this? The farm clinic, which is about 15 minute drive from my home, now has the anti-venom (it didn’t until recently). So, as long as the black mamba that bites me isn’t too big, bites me on the hand or leg, and has bitten another unfortunately soul recently, I’ll be ok.
(P.S. For all you friends and relatives now worrying about me – mom, matante, and all the rest of you faithful readers – I will be careful, etc. And, even though I’m not exaggerating or making up any of the stories I’ve just recounted, I am increasing the tension and the risk of bite for dramatic effect. Don’t worry too much, just a healthy dose!)