How Our Travel Has Changed With a Baby on Board

I have a secret to share. It’s something I’ve alluded to on the blog (in a pretty honest end-of-year post) but have yet to devote an entire post to it:

Travel is a lot more difficult with a baby on the bus.

Maybe you’re sitting here saying, duuuuuhhhhhh!!!, like, didn’t she see this coming?, but still, I’ve hesitated to share this in any concrete way because I don’t want to come off as ungrateful. I mean, Bruno and I are fortunate enough to raise our baby together – full-time – while traveling the world. It’s kind of like a person with a fridge full of delicious, fresh food complaining there’s nothing good to eat!

Still, it’s important to me to be transparent in my blog. My hope is that other travelers (or just parents!) will feel like they’re not alone in the challenges of early parenting. It will also help explain changes I share with you at the end of this post. And, at the very least, the exercise of sharing my struggles is cathartic for little old me!

So, here are some of the ways that our travel style has changed since we started traveling overland with a baby:

1. Travel days take more time to travel less distance. I thought we already traveled about as slowly as one could, but that appears not to be the case! Though Phoenix has gotten massively more patient in his car seat over the months, the rhythm of driving days is almost entirely ruled by him. Usually we drive about an hour or so before our first stop, when Phoenix is given a chance to nurse, a diaper change, and a bit of physical exercise. It’s never more than another 45 more minutes on the road before we are stopping for lunch (which takes forever!) and another play break/diaper change. Usually Phoenix will allow us another hour-long drive before he’s had enough for the day and we must find a place to stop for the night. This means we can usually get in about three hours of actual driving, even though the transit day itself lasts a good 6 hours. I don’t think we’ve ever been able to drive more than 250km in a single day – but often (at least in Mexico) much, much less.

2. Nap time is king. If Phoenix is asleep in his car seat, we don’t stop. Not for a cute town, a photo op, or an enticing market. Not if we see a great diesel price. Not even for a pee break. Nap time rules our driving days. And, if I’m being honest, it rules every day. We almost never do tourism that will disrupt a nap and, as such, most of our days are spent at a campground catering to his nap schedule.

3. We stay in campgrounds a lot more often. I guess we do this to make life a bit easier. We have access to electricity, which means we can heat or cool the bus as needed so that Phoenix is more comfortable when he sleeps (the temperature in a vehicle changes more drastically than in a home). We can refill our water tank as needed (which is a lot more frequent with a baby and all the dishes, spills and baths that he comes with). And we [sometimes] have access to a laundry machine, which makes reusable diapers slightly less of a pain in the butt! I think we also stay in campgrounds because we don’t want to put Phoenix in a potentially unsafe or unsure situation or have to deal with police officers telling us to move in the middle of the night.

4. We’ve had to increase our travel budget. This might seem obvious – when you have a baby, you spend more money – but our budget has had to adjust in ways that we hadn’t anticipated. Yes, there are the baby-related purchases and travel insurance for a third person. But our camping budget has doubled (which we hadn’t foreseen), and so has our food budget. I’m so much more obsessed with healthy food now that Phoenix is eating solids, so we stock up on high-quality organics whenever we can get our hands on them. There’s also all those loads of laundry we do – it costs close to $5USD a machine in the US, and about the same price in Mexico (because here they launder your clothes for you rather than offering coin-operated laundromats). With the addition of Phoenix, it’s almost impossible to stay within our previous monthly budget, and we now have the same money problems most families deal with!

5. We seem to always be looking for a laundromat or a grocery store. Here’s the math – three mouths and a small fridge means we do groceries three times a week. A load of diapers every four days, as well as a couple extra loads each time and we’re almost always looking for a laundromat or grocery store. Often this means driving to a larger town (campgrounds are never in towns and rarely within walking distance of these modern conveniences) and crossing our fingers that the laundromat is close to the grocery store and that there’s a shady place to park. Our errands usually take us the full day – by the time we locate the shops and get the laundry in the machines, it’s time for lunch. I’ll often do groceries while the boys take their afternoon nap, and then we’ll pick up the laundry and be home for dinner. I used to love grocery shopping (especially local markets) but now I hate both tasks because they massively eat into our very-limited free time.

6. I haven’t been interested in tourism. WHAT?!? I used to LOVE exploring the world! I’d read up on the history of the region, explore the markets to learn about local cuisine, talk to people to get a sense of the culture, study up on key phrases in the local language. Travel was my passion! But now? I don’t do any of that stuff. I don’t even bargain, anymore! My mental space is almost solely on Phoenix, on being a good mom, on keeping our routines, and on trying to stay sane. There is simply no space left for me to be a good tourist. It feels totally strange to me that I’m traveling in Mexico right now and that, apart from visiting a few places of natural beauty (like waterfalls, gardens, and hot springs) I don’t feel the desire to delve deeper into my travels. It’s like, why am I traveling? What I’ve recently realized is that, more than tourism, I need to give my little bit of extra mental space over to self care. This is a topic I’d like to talk more about in another post.

Ok, so now I’ve ranted (I mean, shared) about the ways that our travel style has changed. I want to say, now, that not all the changes have been negative. For example, Mexicans love babies, and are always coming up to him to pinch his cheeks or make silly faces. Having Phoenix has allowed us to interact more with locals, and has especially connected us more with other young parents (and there are so many of them in Mexico). And, even though Phoenix isn’t yet old enough to appreciate the places we visit, it’s a lot easier to stimulate him in our ever-changing backyard. I never have to get bored of the same walk around the block, that’s for sure!

Also, life in the bus has gotten easier over time. Phoenix can sit for longer periods in his car seat, his naps are more consolidated, he’s using fewer diapers, we now have a good air conditioning unit that allows us to worry less about mid-afternoon errands in hot parking lots, and our routines and transitions are more seamless after many months of tweaking.

Lastly, I fully admit that we are (alright, I am) over-parenting. I am a perfectionist by nature, and have definitely fallen into the trap of catering way too much to our baby, to the detriment of myself and Bruno. All I can say about that is, I’m working on it.

In the meantime, since bus life has been an added challenge to the already difficult task of parenting, Bruno and I made a decision last month: we have temporarily moved out of the bus and into a house. This decision was actually instigated by Bruno, which is surprising, since he hates living within the confines of a home that doesn’t move. I guess he could sense my stress and unhappiness in the bus – feelings I didn’t even realize I was non-verbally communicating.

We’ve been here in Cuernavaca, Mexico, in a lovely villa, for over a month now. And it’s been great. Honestly, I feel so good, so recharged, so much more balanced and content that I sort of wish we could stay here forever… (sorry Bruno!)

Alas, our time here is almost over. We’ll be back in the bus by mid-March for a few more Mexican stops before our trip to Miami and France. I’ll share more in my next vlog about this great little gem of a villa we’ve found, but for now, I’m going to go out and simply enjoy it!