2018, A Year in Review

The parking lot of a Pemex gas station in central Mexico might be an unusual place to reflect on the year passed, but then again, 2018 has been an unusual year. Our eleven-month-old baby, Phoenix, is taking his morning nap in the back of the bus, and, as any parent knows, nap time is when parents scurry to catch up on their to-do list.

In years past, I’ve written this year-end wrap-up in such inspiring spots as a ryad in Morocco, coastal California, the desert of Sudan, and the Nile River in Uganda. If I’m now writing this year’s wrap-up in a gas station, it’s sort of a perfect image of what this year has been.

2018 has been all about welcoming – and adjusting to having – baby Phoenix in our lives.

It’s hard to believe that it was already a year ago that we were ringing in the new year with my parents in a rental home along the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada. Bruno and I had been settled in that quaint wood cottage for a month, patiently awaiting the arrival of our little baby. Phoenix came early, on January 25^th, and we spent the next 2.5 months in that same home getting to know him and adjusting to life as new parents.

For me, this period of time is too recent to look upon with that sweet, blurry nostalgia. My memories of an overtired, fussy baby, my overtired self glued to my nursing chair 24/7, and the helplessness of not knowing how to properly care for a newborn overshadow the beauty that I know was also present in those early months. I’ll find the beauty soon, I’m sure, but for now, I’m just happy to be out of the newborn phase!

Spring 2018 was also a bit of a blur, but in a different sort of way. It involved a lot of home-hopping. We traveled to my parents’ home for a few weeks, where Phoenix met the entire extended family. Then we flew to France and Switzerland for a month, where Phoenix met his other half of the family. Then, we were back in Canada for a few weeks while we tried to figure out how to compress ourselves into the space of our [not so] Big Blue Bus.

We finally set out in our home-on-wheels on June 10^th, with a 4.5 month-old baby. Bruno had been waiting for this day all year – I had been dreading it. I was still very much feeling like an inexperienced mom with a challenging baby on my hands, so adding travel and driving and living in a small space seemed like more than I’d be able to handle.

Why did we leave, then? Certainly Bruno didn’t pressure me, though I did want him to be happy (and he’s happiest on the road). It’s more that I knew that, after a challenging hump, life in the bus would even out, and we’d be fine. Since we’d always planned to live on the road as a family, I guess I figured we may as well just get on with it.

I was right (sort of). Those first few weeks, as we traveled through the eastern seaboard of the US, were rough, but once we hit Shenandoah National Park and the Appalachian Mountains, the temperature cooled down, our pace slowed down, and we settled into life in a bus with a baby.

We spent the next three months in those mountains. Then, just as we were heading down for a stint in Asheville, North Carolina, to work on some baby-related bus renovations, Phoenix rolled off the bed and broke his leg! How lucky we were to be in a city with stellar healthcare, to have a travel insurance plan that covered 100% of our costs (which are astronomical in the US), and to have a comfortable rental home in which Phoenix could mend. Of all the things to be grateful for, we were most grateful that Phoenix’ break was minor and he would only need to wear a cast for four weeks (along with a cumbersome hip-brace for the first two).

By early October, we were back on the road with our newly-repaired 8-month old – this time, headed for the Deep South of the US and, eventually, Mexico. We met up with my parents in San Antonio, Texas, as they are wintering in Mexico in their RV as well (or, shall we say, following us around as Big Blue contains their beloved first grandson!). We entered Mexico together in late November and traveled slowly down toward Mexico City, where we have met up with my brother and his girlfriend, Ara, for a big Mexican family Christmas!

So, that’s been our year – the year of the Phoenix, I’m calling it.

It’s funny because, before posting this online, I briefly read through my Year in Review posts for 2017, 2016, and 2015. It’s so strange to look back on life before Phoenix – my posts recounted rich travel experiences, family reunions, hobbies explored. This year, I literally have nothing to share that doesn’t involve Phoenix! I have tried to think of other monumental events for this post, but I got nada!

See what I mean? The year of the Phoenix!

Truth be told, the adjustment to motherhood – and life in a bus with a baby – has probably been the most challenging thing I have ever faced. It’s been a difficult year. But, if I put on my rose-tinted glasses (which are the only kind we should ever wear, right?), I have so much to be grateful for. I’m grateful to have birthed a healthy baby, to have received such amazing midwifery care, and to have had a lovely, cozy home in which to nest for a few postpartum months. I’m grateful to have spent so much time with family this year and grateful to have the support of a partner who doesn’t work outside the home.

With those same rose-tinted glasses, I must say that I am impressed with ourselves that we have now completed over six months of bus life with a baby. Now that I am a mom, I can say that this is no easy feat, and I’m going to allow myself a little pat on the back. (I’m thinking of devoting a future blog post to our experience of living in a bus with a baby, what do you think?)

Lastly, as per my Year in Review tradition, I’d like to leave you with our 2018 highlights (I’m still wearing the rose-tinted glasses!), challenges (they’re off now), and lessons learned:

2018 Highlights

1. Obviously, the #1 highlight, by far, was the birth of our beloved baby boy, Phoenix!
2. Having Phoenix meet his Canadian and French families.
3. Our mini-holiday with my aunt Louise at the Mohonk Mountain House in New York State.
4. Spending our summer in the Appalachian Mountains as we learned to live in a bus with our baby.
5. RV traveling in Mexico with my family (stay tuned for more stories about our travels!

2018 Challenges

1. The stress of traveling with a baby. I experienced this stress both when we flew to France with our three-month old and when we moved into our Big Blue Bus.
2. The day we found out Phoenix broke his leg. I’d have rather broken every single bone in my body, nay, permanently lost my limbs, than find this out.
3. Hearing that our much-loved previous home-on-wheels, Totoyaya, was totalled and subsequently sold for parts. Read the sob-story here.

Biggest Lesson Learned: I have learned so, so many lessons this year, which I think must be the case when you face big challenges. I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I don’t have it all figured out. In fact, I think I have very little figured out. This tiny baby I’ve brought into this world is a mirror on myself. I’ve discovered so many flaws, so many areas I need to work on, so much growth I have yet to do. I have a feeling Phoenix is going to be my biggest life teacher. It has taken me the entire year to stop fighting this fact. Now, as 2019 approaches, I am ready to face myself, to shed old layers of skin that no longer serve me, and to do the incredibly challenging work of growing into a better version of myself.

2018 has probably been the most challenging year of my life, but look how much beauty has grown from it. I wish you all a beautiful new year, wherever in your life journey you are.