Gharma (at home)

I hear the dog barking and Baba (father) shouting at about 5am. He’s already been awake for some time, but he has just now stepped outside to play with Pepchu. I roll over and try to keep myself warm under the bed sheets. Anywhere between 7-8:30am, Ama (mother) comes into the room and shouts “Ute, ute!” (get up!). I glance at the clock and wonder what all the urgency is about, but I drag myself out of bed anyway. After putting my sweater, my dkaha (fabric), and my wool socks on, I am ready to head downstairs (the cold part of the house). I eat toast with peanut butter and read the 12-page “Himalayan Times”, the #1 English newspaper in Kathmandu. Thus begins a typical day at home.
Even though for me it’s still early, so much has already been accomplished by 8am and the house is simply a bustling. Ama and Baba have already had 2-3 cups of tea and Anita, the helper has already done some laundry (by hand) or begun scrubbing the kitchen or some other part of the house. Ama will be sitting in the corner of the living room spinning the prayer wheel and Baba will either be working in his garden or reading the newspaper. Muna and I, however, prefer to wake up slowly. After breakfast, I will usually go and sit outside to finish the newspaper and soak up a little bit of warmth from the sun (even though at this time of day it’s still pretty hazy out). The morning will likely be spent outside, reading, playing with Kali (the adorable 3 year old daughter of Anita), or talking to Baba and Muna.
By 11:30am, lunch is ready. Most Nepalis eat early because they aren’t big breakfast people (they prefer tea) so by 11am they are starving. This works well for me because I too am starving by about 11am. Dal baht is the norm.
After lunch, Muna and I have tended to go out for the day, be it to go shopping or to visit friends. Because Muna’s parents are rather strict, however, we must return soon after sunset. In fact, we have gotten in trouble a few times for coming home around 8-9pm! Anyway, no matter what time we return, the scenario at home is the same; Ama and Baba are watching TV (Nepali soap operas), Baba is drinking local wiskey, the kids (yes, there are two) are making noise and hanging around, and the house is cold. Depending on what time we arrive home, we may be in time for non-reheated dinner, but the meal is never eaten as a family regardless. Baba always eats dinner in front of the TV, and Ama may or may not join him. Meal time is strange here whether or not it is dinner though – children eat first, Baba may eat with us, and Ama will generally be serving seconds for everyone before she has even sat down once.
Besides Ama and Baba, another family lives at our home: Anita, her husband Mine, and their two girls. Baba has known Mine for a long time because he used to be their plumber. When he got married a few years ago, Baba asked him to come and live with them. They are a poor family so they gladly accepted the free room and board. Anita is 20 years old and already has two children, ages 3 and 1. She works so hard all day long (probably a 15 hour work day) doing laundry, cooking meals, cleaning the house, doing the dishes. And her youngest daughter won’t leave her side, so she is forced to do all this work with her daughter tied to her back. Because she is so busy, her oldest daughter gets very little attention and must occupy herself all day long. Her parents don’t have time to sit around and chat with her, so even though she is 3 years old, she can hardly talk. I really like Kali – she is very affectionate and has grown quite fond of me, calling me “Didi” (older sister). If I give her even a little attention, she is so happy, so I try to chat with her and give her hugs every morning and night. Today I gave her a pen and a piece of paper to draw with, and she amused herself for almost an hour. I think I am going to try to find some toys in town to give her before I leave.
From the description of my life in Muna’s home, it may seem that things here are perfect. But they aren’t exactly. As I mentioned, Ama and Baba are very strict (Ama in particular) and they have been unhappy with how much time Muna and I have been spending out of the house. So yesterday they told us it was to be our last day out and for the remainder of our time here we were to stay at home. I’m sure they just mean Muna and I could prance around Kathmandu if I wanted to, but I feel bad for Muna and I also feel like they would ideally like to hold me up to the same standards as they hold her. But in my opinion, though we have been out most days for maybe 6 hours or so, we have spent our mornings and evenings with the family and have only been out at night for New Year’s, Muna’s Birthday and Nagarkot last weekend. I guess they just expect us to live like good little Nepali girls, but it’s a hard thing to do for both of us. Tonight is Friday and I guess we’re spending it in (even though my horoscope tells me to dance the night away, no joke!).