Baby on Board

Your baby will be happy as long as he has love and consistency. That’s all a baby truly needs.

These words, spoken by my mother, have remained with me ever since she uttered them a few years ago on the beach. We were having a heart-to-heart about the idea of me having children with Bruno and raising them in a nomadic lifestyle on the road.

My mom is a reasonable woman, not given to fantasies or idealism. She also happens to be a fantastic mother. If she was giving me the green light on a Baby Nomad, then that was good enough for me.

Fast forward to June 10^th, 2018. It’s the moment of truth. Said baby has arrived, and, at 4.5 months old, he is about to move into Big Blue, our home-on-wheels, and hit the road. I am incredibly anxious about the whole thing. Perhaps partially because he has stopped sleeping at night and I’m beyond exhausted; partially because it’s been a hectic few weeks of getting the bus ready to go. But also because the idea of moving into a 100 square foot space without the conveniences that most of us take for granted is terrifying.

What was I thinking, choosing bus life with a baby?!?

It’s now been a little over a month since our family of three moved into our Big Blue Bus, and things have finally quieted down enough for me to write about the experience of transitioning to life on the road with a baby.

I’ve never had a baby before so I have no comparison, but Phoenix has struck me, from the get-go, as a very curious baby. During his first several weeks of life he was more mesmerized by his surroundings than faces, which I’d read is the typical newborn preoccupation. This has translated into him being fascinated by all the places we park our vehicle. Every time we arrive somewhere new, I can tell he is checking out his new surroundings. He absolutely knows we are somewhere new, and he loves it. In fact, one of the ways we have managed to extend his tummy time is by having him face a window, with its ever-changing scenes. He is as taken by a parking lot as by a forest. I guess Phoenix is a natural-born tourist!

(We have used the same window technique for getting Phoenix to accept his car seat – leaving the blinds open so he can stare out the window while we drive. It means that he is often too interested in the scenery to sleep, but at least he isn’t screaming bloody murder!)

Phoenix also seems to enjoy being outdoors. This bodes well for life on the road, as we spend the majority of time in national and state parks, and most of our waking hours outside the confines of our tiny living space. He doesn’t seem nearly as bothered by heat, humidity, or insects as either of his parents, so enthralled is he by his toys and environment.

Of all my concerns before moving into the bus, the one I lost the most sleep over was how Phoenix would sleep on the bus. He’s never been the best sleeper, and in our early efforts to get him to sleep, we habituated him to a completely dark, quiet room (apart from white noise playing in the background). Neither of those features would be possible in the bus – especially the quiet bit. I mean, it’s not like we have a second floor bedroom. Or even a bedroom door.

I’m happy to report that Phoenix is sleeping fine. We installed a curtain between the bedroom and living room, and also discovered that we could open the bathroom door and create a further division between bedroom and living space. We are still using white noise, and we don’t have music and dance parties in the front part of the vehicle, but we have been able to go on with an only-slightly-muted version of our regular life when Phoenix is asleep.

The times his sleep is disturbed is by the heat. Summer has arrived with force here on the east coast of the United States, and it’s been tough. Living in a vehicle means we are more exposed to the elements than in a house – we don’t have central air, our insulation is mediocre, and most of our giant black windows don’t open. Bruno does his best to keep key parts of the home in the shade and to maximize air circulation, but there’s only so much you can do, especially on shopping, laundry, and travel days.

Keeping the home cool so Phoenix can sleep has become an obsession for both Bruno and I, so much so that we bought a home air-conditioning unit and have been staying at campgrounds with electricity for a couple weeks (so much for boondocking and small budgets!). It also means that we don’t take long grocery shopping trips or scenic detours on travel days. Our goal is to arrive to a source of electricity and shade as quickly as possible. Needless to say, we are looking forward to finally arriving at the higher altitudes of the Appalachian Mountains so that daytime heat is less of an issue.

The flip side of the heat problem is the nighttime cool. Just as our bus heats up more quickly than a house, it cools down more quickly as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve put Phoenix to bed practically naked in the evening only to feel his freezing little hands in the middle of the night. Thankfully he still wakes up around midnight for a nursing session so I take advantage of that to dress him in pyjamas and a sleep sack. When do babies reach an age where they can cover themselves in a blanket when they’re cold, anyway?

It has definitely taken me longer to adapt to life on the road than Phoenix. Truthfully, it took about a month to get into the flow of things and not feel merely in survival mode. Part of that was that, for the first couple of weeks, we were actually in transit on our way to meet my aunt in New York State (more on that in a post soon!) so we were driving a couple hundred kilometers almost every day (which might not sound like much, but with a baby I assure you it is); another part was us trying [and failing] to flee the heat; and then, of course, there was the massive stress of pre-departure that has taken awhile to come down from.

But also, living and traveling the world in a vehicle is a lot more work than it might seem. There’s the planning of the route and the research on where to stay, a fun but incredibly time-consuming constant task. There’s the refilling and emptying of water tanks, which isn’t a given unless you’re staying at campgrounds. And there’s the process of setting oneself up at each new site, which involves first analyzing a space for sun/shade and flatness, then the unpacking and setting up of table, chairs, clothes line and electrical lines, and then climate control of the bus. This process is akin to packing and unpacking a suitcase and arriving at a new hotel every few days.

When Bruno and I lived in Totoyaya together, we got really good at doing this packing/unpacking dance. Each person knew what their tasks were, and we could be organized in a new space in fifteen minutes. The bus is a newish space for us, and we’ve never had to get ourselves organized while also accounting for Phoenix’ needs upon arrival, which generally involve being fed and changed, put down for a nap, bathed or just generally paid attention to! It has definitely taken us awhile to find our new flow. Truthfully, travel days are still stressful and exhausting, which is why we plan to travel a lot more slowly than we used to now that we have little Phoenix on board!

It’s not just travel days that have been challenging for me – just living in such a small space with a baby has been an adjustment. Anyone who’s ever RVed before knows that things just take longer. You’re perpetually putting things away and taking other things out of hidden storage compartments. The coffee maker doesn’t have a permanent place on the counter; to get dressed you have to dig underneath a tightly-packed box of clothing; and finding that god-forsaken can of coconut milk means emptying the storage compartment under the dining room seat.

Now that we have a baby, his tasks take longer too. We don’t have the space for a permanent diaper station; his stroller, bathtub, and toys aren’t readily available when not in use; and his clothes are tightly-packed away in a drawer, too! It took us awhile to organize the most essential things in the most convenient places and to streamline things like diaper changes. Truth be told, we are still refining our baby-organization (good blog post topic?), but I have mostly gotten used to mommying in a bus. Apart from having to find a laundromat every four days for our cloth diapers, that is.

In the past couple of weeks, we’ve started to slow down, travel less and spend more time in each place. I’ve been able to get a little routine going (another blog post idea?), and having a routine has reminded me of one of the many reasons I wanted a Baby Nomad in the first place – our routine is automatically transformed each time we change locations so that, just as I’m getting bored of showing Phoenix the same set of trees, they’re gone!

What this means – apart from fighting off boredom in Mama – is that Phoenix is gaining a plethora of new experiences without us even really trying! In the last week alone, he has swum in a lake and two different pools; swung on swings in three different playgrounds; gone on a hike; tried a hammock; gotten caught in a rain storm; and gone on stroller walks in two state parks! All that without us even leaving the campground!

The idea of having a Baby Nomad was, in a way, cemented on a beach in New Brunswick a few years ago. So far, my mom has been right. Phoenix has adapted to his new space and seems to have the making of a proper little world traveler. More importantly, he is happy.

Folks, baby is officially on board!