Have Baby, Will Travel

Life at Wandering Footsteps is often a whirlwind of travel, discovery, and adventure.

These past ten weeks have been a whirlwind of a different sort – the whirlwind of being new parents.

For the past ten weeks, our days have been marked by nursing, changing diapers, and trying to get our wide-awake baby boy to close his eyes and sleep. We have felt the tumult of emotions that come with being a parent – from absolute pure bliss (akin to floating in an ultra-pleasant alternate reality) to sheer desperation, and absolutely every emotion in between. We have felt clueless, exhausted, at peace, confident, worried, giddy, helpless, and infatuated. We are simultaneously in love and grieving the life of freedom and simplicity we have given up. Some days we can’t imagine life without Phoenix – at other times, we wonder what on earth we were thinking when we asked for this!

Travel may have brought Bruno and I out of our comfort zones and allowed us to experience a variety of emotions, but it’s got nothing on parenthood.

Our life changed forever ten weeks ago, and we are slowly learning to adapt.

Phoenix is too. His first few weeks of life were spent learning to navigate the world outside the uterus. Learning to breastfeed, to breathe, to digest food. He experienced gravity, temperature, air, and light. If those first few weeks were overwhelming for Bruno and me, I can’t even imagine how they must have been for Phoenix.

Slowly but surely, though, he is adjusting to his new world. He is learning to sleep (which hasn’t been easy for him – he is way too interested in the world to waste his time sleeping!), he is steadily gaining weight (and has a triple chin to show for it), and has begun gazing at us, smiling, cooing, and mimicking our faces.

Phoenix is a strong little fellow. His limbs are almost always moving, and he mastered rolling over (from tummy to back) before the age of two months old! He has begun reaching out for objects and will sit, mesmerized, as we read him stories. The greatest joy has been to watch him slowly develop and take in his world. I imagine this joy will only grow as we embark on our world travels and continue to watch him marvel at the world.

There is no country, no landscape, no travel experience at all, that can match the experience of seeing the world through the eyes of a child.

Still, our plans to travel with a baby were evidently made before we actually had a baby. Right now, the thought of moving into our Big Blue Bus and actually traveling with Phoenix is a little overwhelming. Whoever said having a baby doesn’t change your life was wrong! And whoever said (*cough*, Bruno) that a baby doesn’t take up much space was not a parent! The logistics of condensing our life into our as-yet unfinished bus and hitting the road are anxiety-causing.

See, Phoenix seems to thrive best with routine. On days where we go out or have visitors, he seems to get quickly overstimulated, overtired, and ultimately fussy. Going out of the house with him feels so incredibly complicated to me that I’ve avoided it as much as possible. He doesn’t like riding in the car, won’t nap when we’re out, and with the frequent need to nurse or change him, errands take three times as long as they used to. The spontaneity of going where we want whenever we want is gone, as we have to time things according to his rhythms and plan in strategic locations for nursing and changing him along the way. Plus, between the infant car seat and the giant diaper bag, our travel load is so heavy that it feels almost impossible to go anywhere without Bruno’s strong arms.

I know lots of moms who manage to get out and about and keep up their old schedules and activities with seeming ease, but for me it doesn’t seem easy at all. Needless to say, at times I have wondered about the wisdom of traveling with him in the bus anytime soon.

We’re going to do it, anyway, of course. Bruno and I chose to start a family because we love the unconventional lifestyle we lead and the invaluable education it provides. We want this life for our baby boy. Plus, Phoenix seems to be very curious, taking in his environment with wide-eyed focus. He studies things intently. And, with his precocious rolling over and fearlessness (he stuck his hands in my gaping mouth without second-guessing himself!), he seems to have a few pretty good characteristics for an adventurer!

And so, even though the transition into this life will likely be difficult, it will be worth it. Baby Phoenix will become Baby Nomad!

Though it’s hard for me to find time to blog these days, I will try over the coming months to write about this transition. It’s bound to be full of interesting, hilarious, and challenging moments. Posts may be infrequent, brief, and less-than eloquent, but I have the advantage of getting to blame it on postpartum fatigue.

I’m going to use that excuse a lot this year.